You bestow me with your absence as though its a punish to me for being demanding of what I thought I deserved. I had to face the tragedy of seeing you walk away simply because I was asking in return all what I had already given to you long ago. You thought quitting on me was more of a convenient option than trying to share your pieces with me, giving up your ego and raising your standards about women. My wilderness, my sparkle, and free soul was captivating to you but only until you thought of it as a visiting sight. As soon as I began to decorate my heart for it to be your home, You began to feel scared. Unknown of the fact that how heavy of a burden you thought my love was, I hung the drapes of my dreams, put pearls of desires with my own fingers onto all of them. I carved love poems on the walls and painted them skillfully with the art of always being gentle, respecting and accepting. I allowed your demons to dance in the hallways of my body freely and let them visit each and every corner including the darkest most hidden ones. The glasses of these windows of my heart have your name painted onto them with such exotic colors that no one misses the sight of them, my eyes reflect your love without any doubt. I don’t tell them, people know that I love you. My eyes speak of the gallant love journey I was willing to complete with you and only you. So many plants used to breathe the air that I would exhale while talking to them about you. I used to tell them I have mapped you through and through with my own finger tips and I can locate all your pieces exactly. I used to tell them I know you and that never will it happen that you may leave me.
But you did and now this body, this soul…. This same home that I spent so long prettifying for you to be appealed by the grace and uniqueness of my love is abandoned as though no one has ever visited it. The curtains are torn away, the walls are covered! Dusty and webbed with guilt and insecurities. Questions my dear…. So many questions. My plants have wilted away and I broke all the glasses to my windows. I do not want people to see the name of the person who broke me, through my eyes. My soul is now just a haunted house with huge walls standing around it.
No one is welcome here, no one is needed. I do not want my eyes to appeal anyone anymore because I cannot afford another loss and another abandonment.
This is what you’ve done to me.