Today its pouring down, drop by drop with a count of millions coming down off the sky. Standing amidst all these diamonds falling on to the floor, I can see in flashbacks the one time all my pieces fell on to their destruction!! This petrichor reminds me of the catastrophic smell that prevailed with the rising specks of dust when those heavy pieces of my soul fell and shattered in a million ways. Heavy as though they were holding a universe together… my universe. These birds come, sit and go on the branches of these clean and pure trees and I watch them as they come and go and I see how they make their stay so temporary. They never intend to make it their home yet they still visit it so I wonder to myself if you too never intended to make me your home and if I too was just nothing more than a beautiful point to simply visit?
But the truth is, all of this does not make me sad anymore. It doesn’t have any impact on me and it fails to convince me that you by any chance deserved all the efforts that I put in convincing you to love me. We are never supposed to do that.
So this time while its raining, I’ll inhale this fresh cold air deep into my lungs and let it spread its roots to every inch of my bodily existence. I’ll let these droplets wash off every memory of you, every thought of feeling sinful and guilty of having been given all of my previous parts to someone who did not even know he owned them, someone who thought of them as worthless. I’ll let this body sink in the depths of these waters soaked with years old herbs which arose sensations that feel deeper, warmer and far better than it felt being with you. The smell of these leaves, roots and this soil will revive the old me and heal all the wounds that you left inside me. These roots will tie my broken parts together and once and forever I will feel whole again and this time I will not allow any one to steal this wholeness from me. Never ever.
Isn’t it strange, how we humans are gifted with this strength to tie our broken pieces together. Capability of healing. It ends with becoming better, whole and complete like never before, only if you choose to… Always if you choose to. And its a choice worth making.